I'm feeling so unmotivated, so disheartened. I'm in a place where my self-perception is confronted with others' perceptions, and I'm left with a static feeling of unoriginality and ambiguity. It's so strange how an individual can just... end up a certain way, with no seemingly distinct life events to shape an individual in that certain way.
I've started to take 5-Hydroxytryptophan in the hopes of elevating my mood and improving my sleep. It's a compromise I made with my family and friends, I suppose, since most seem to be convinced that I should be diagnosed with depression.
I'm in a conflict... school vs. work/life? come January. ...it's been giving me stress headaches for weeks.
Last night, laying in bed with him, feeling high, feeling good... I was full of uninhibited love and light. I want to feel that way all the time, but it really is such a vulnerable state.