Tuesday, May 5, 2009

open up your heart

...I had an AH-HAH moment today in my yoga class.

I have been involved with this one guy for the past 8 months or so, off and on, messy love sort of thing...

At this point, I need space to really reflect and figure it out; but I think I keep going/staying/taking him back because I'm afraid that it's the closest to love I'll ever get. And I'm not even sure he loves me back. The unfortunate part is it can border on abusive and is a thoroughly unhealthy relationship.

I dream of a man who will look at me and see my heart, see the light.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I see clear tonight, I think I'll stay the night.

I went back to my hometown this weekend, for Graves.  Basically, there's a church service, and then the priest and everyone else pile into the cars are drive to the graveyard.  (My parent, brother and I always skip the service).  There's Ukrainian prayers intermingled with old Ukrainians singing.  Then the priest blesses the grave (and little baskets of food prepared by the family).

This picture is hanging in my Baba's living room... it's my Gedo, Nicholas (who was called Nick by everyone), as a young boy with his parents (my great-Baba & great-Gedo), Angelina and Nick.  Gedo, great-Baba and great-Gedos' graves were all blessed today.

This is growing in my Baba's kitchen.  Tiger lilies have been a constant in my life...  and whenever I do any self-work in Flower Essences Therapy, it generally appears.

The most beautiful couple...

Seriously.  One of the coolest places ever.

This is a couch meant for grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  This is a place of absolute love.  Always.  

I don't go home very often.  But I should.  There's something about my little hometown that no other place has...  my history, I suppose.

(Though I did miss Charlie.)