This season drains me. I can't escape the cold, my muscles are always tense from unconsciously hunching up for warmth.
These are odd times. It's the time of the year where I really don't care if I'm drinking alone, or blazing before noon. And why should I? These are frozen times.
I came home yesterday, and upon walking into the apartment, I actually wished that you still lived here. There is no closure. I don't understand what happened to our friendship. Or to you.
These are frozen times. Do what you need to do to stay alive.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
I want to crawl back into bed, with your warm body beside me.
I'm feeling so unmotivated, so disheartened. I'm in a place where my self-perception is confronted with others' perceptions, and I'm left with a static feeling of unoriginality and ambiguity. It's so strange how an individual can just... end up a certain way, with no seemingly distinct life events to shape an individual in that certain way.
I've started to take 5-Hydroxytryptophan in the hopes of elevating my mood and improving my sleep. It's a compromise I made with my family and friends, I suppose, since most seem to be convinced that I should be diagnosed with depression.
I'm in a conflict... school vs. work/life? come January. ...it's been giving me stress headaches for weeks.
Last night, laying in bed with him, feeling high, feeling good... I was full of uninhibited love and light. I want to feel that way all the time, but it really is such a vulnerable state.
I've started to take 5-Hydroxytryptophan in the hopes of elevating my mood and improving my sleep. It's a compromise I made with my family and friends, I suppose, since most seem to be convinced that I should be diagnosed with depression.
I'm in a conflict... school vs. work/life? come January. ...it's been giving me stress headaches for weeks.
Last night, laying in bed with him, feeling high, feeling good... I was full of uninhibited love and light. I want to feel that way all the time, but it really is such a vulnerable state.
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