The have-nots have had enough.

Today, I remembered that I am young and life requires spontaneity. So I spent the majority of my day with this boy:


The day featured lots of laughs, good music, and wind-blown hair. And supper with this girl:


I can't let my days just slide by. I can't leave my body behind. I can't forget my heart.

I will remember to live, & not just survive. I will rejoice in movement, & be carefree. I will let my heart bloom.

This is not your fault.

I feel as though I've really grown into myself, especially with the new year. And I feel as though my current apartment is a place I can actually feel like I'm living in.

I had today off, so last night I got high with Mark. And I slept in so wonderfully late today. I ran some errands, and cleaned the apartment. I updated my other blog. I wish Chris didn't forget about it.

Life is so strange. Two coworkers at one of my jobs have tried to kiss me (on different days, thank god). Two men seem to be interested (and it's mutual) but their interest doesn't seem to be very concrete. And I'm dragging along. I have no reason to feel alone, but I do.

I'm not meant for this game.

godspeed you

Lately, I can only write in shitty poetry. And I can only drink beer or wine. And I chain-smoke like a mad woman, using an empty beer bottle as an ashtray.

And I want to fall asleep in your arms.
I want to be yours.

I am leaving you.

I was supposed to go to a Retailer Dinner Training thing for work today, featuring a Holistic Pharmacist. But it was my first day off in almost three weeks, and my roommates aren't home... I can't help but play my music loud, and do absolutely nothing.

Besides, Holistic Pharmacist sounds like a contradiction of terms. And I'm so over the retailer/business factors of my work. I don't care that statistics show people buy the larger size of a certain product if it's placed on the right.

I am not that person.
I am however that girl who would flirt with someone just for the drinks. *sigh*