I've carried a note in my wallet for almost three years. A note from a past lover, a past friend.

"As always, you are super cute. Have a good evening, and just take care of yourself okay? Love, -D."

The ink has smudged. The paper's worn thin and easily torn. It's time to throw out, time to let go.

Don't talk to me about forever.

I got Scribbles Sunday. He was abandoned; found the day that winter greeted Edmonton with snow, poking around trash bins. His nose was frost bitten.

Around Thanksgiving, a cousin of mine left his wife and two kids.

Around Christmas, another cousin of mine left her five kids.

I don't want to grow up if it means I'm going to abandon everything I once loved.

What should we do? ...smile!

"Homework, walk hiro, eat vegan food, build snow people, have a drink, go to a movie, sleding, start a band, bake a cake, draw portraits of each other, eat ice cream, throw a party, braid my hair, sewing, break dance, play with action figures, paint our toes, tetris, read comics, go snow shoeing, hitch hike to a warmer place, have a cat party, adopt pandas. Make a scratching post/cat tree, plant a garden, swimming, ride bikes, grocery shop for food, pie jerks in the face, fly kites, bird watching, free the animals from W.E.M., door to door atheism, go to vancouver, visit seniors, marry khan and charlie, farmers market, build a fort, switch jobs, yoga, ice cream floats, camping, water slides, go carts, hot tubs, build a fire, and hugs."

...Z. is the best.

Seriously. Everyone in my life? You're all amazing.

I'm at work...

...and all I can think about is how much I want to stop talking about the things I 'should' and 'want' to do. I want to stop saying those words and just live.

My life is going to be chalk-full of accomplishment, satisfaction, feel-good moments, and crossed-off to do lists.

why does everything have to be a battle?

Today, I was called a feminazi. Three of the four friends I relayed this to were significantly more upset than I. The fourth friend took my reaction of confusion -- so I wikipedia'd the word. Strangely, the three upset friends are male, and the fourth confused friend is female.

Even after reading the article about 'aggressive feminists' I'm still confused. Why did the individual so specifically throw this word and it's negative connotations at me? And why are the males in my life more upset whereas I am simply bewildered?

I've been known to read feminist literature, and yes, I listen to Ani DiFranco*. I suppose I have a few feminist ideals tucked away in my heart and my mind, but I don't call myself a feminist. In fact, I don't really call myself anything that ends with -ist -- that's a lot of commitment. But really, a feminazi?

Well, here it is. This is the cold hard facts of why I'm a feminazi -- or at least, what I assume, are his reasons for calling me a feminazi: I refuse to have a conversation with someone when they are rude, inappropriate, or down right douchey. When you take away the 'he said, she said' bullshit of the story, that's exactly what it boils down to. I don't deserve to be treated poorly -- and this makes me a feminazi? Really? So be it, I suppose... but next time I see you, buddy, I'm going to live up to that word and it's negative connotations -- and leave you bleeding whether it's with my fists or my words.

Ani DiFranco - In or Out

* Funny Story: So one time, I may or may not have hit this one guy in the face. Guy gets angry -- and a bloody nose -- and exclaims "You know, just because you listen to Ani DiFranco doesn't mean you can hit men in the face!" Regardless of who I listen to, he deserved it.

the heart is like hand grenade

My days are full of awesome, so long as I don't get caught up in mundane crap.

The Short Version of Awesome:

• started attending women's health workshop on Saturday
• nude photoshoot on Sunday
• new cutting on Monday
• visits with Z.
• staying at Allison's
• baby pandas

The Reason featuring Sara Quin- We're So Beyond This

break the rules, fuck the laws.

Tomorrow, I will lock myself in a room full of mirrors, reflecting every possible flaw. I will be facing my toughest critic in every reflection. ... and I will come out victorious. I love bodies that tell stories, with scars and beauty marks. I will love mine. I will be liberated. And then, I will let it go, because I am not my body, but that doesn't mean I am not full of love.

Ani DiFranco - I'm No Heroine